How cunning is my dog you ask

Well, one of my dogs is on anti-inflammatories at the moment, one a day, and I had some trouble yesterday when she decided that she did not want it. I had given her a treat before hand and showed her that I had more if she was good. I tried to shove it down her throat when shechewed it and spat out two largish pieces amounting to about half the dose. I tired to give her these but she growled at me.

Now I am keen to make sure that my dog knows who is boss but you do not stick your fingers in the mouth of a dog that growls at you when you try to. So I figured I would hide it in food. So I go to the fridge and grab some camembert cheese as it is the only thing I have that she will want that I can push the tablet fragments into. I slice off a thin piece and fold it in half with the tablet fragments inside and give it to her (and some for the other dog so she doesn't get jealous). Well she chews it up and is obviously struggling to get her mouth around the sticky cheese (most of her food is dry and crunchy).

But she is enjoying it and I think that I have succeeded when you guessed it she smacks her lips and spits out a piece of tablet. I feel disappointed but figure that the other piece is gone so I managed in total to get three quarters of a dose. And that is when the other shoe dropped or more specifically after a second's mouth movement the other piece dropped to the floor. By this stage they were too mushy to do anything with and I gave up.

Happily this morning I got the dose in her no problem.

Why my Bass Guitar is a Bad Boy Yardie

After some consideration as to what my Bass guitar's name might be (BB King's guitars were all Lucille) along comes an incident that has made it clear.

It came to me like a bolt to the head.

I had been up late playing my bass when I decided to call it a night. I put the bass down shut off the light in that room and in the semi dark I reached for the bass only to have the E-string tuning peg hit me over my right eye. Obviously it is a bad boy yardie trying to kill me in the dark, it was only the fact that I had a firm grip on the neck of the guitar at the time that I survived. But I have a black eye now.

So in keeping with the fact that BonsaiGirl suggested that bass guitars have boy's names it is now Lincoln.

This also has the benefit of giving it some bluesy credibility as in the American automobile.

The future is written

The future (and indeed the past)
Is written
In the pattern of coloured scales
Adorning the skin of the world serpent
(Who has no beginning and no end).
It lies under the skin of the past that is shed when the present
Happens

Thus the future becomes the moment
And past
in turn
is lost
to obscurity

Bass Lesson No. 2

Well, my second bass lesson went well but the music theory has me a little worried as it is not easy to wrap my scientist's brain around (why is it not decimalised?). But I am not overly stressed about that. I now have the Peter Gunn theme to practice and what I have discovered in praticing since this lesson is that unless you get the tempo fast enough it doesn't sound anything like the theme, even if you do get the notes right. It is somewhat frustrating. Still I am patient and persistant. Plus I am finding learning the bass to be a lot of fun so it never seems like work.

I was at a birthday party on the weekend for a guy I know in a band and I realised that he knows a lot of musos. Half the people I met asked me either what instrument I played or what band I was in. I was even invited to join a band (that only has one member at this point) in spite of the fact that I have had only 2 lessons (apparently that's enough).

My actual goal is to be in a band in 12 months and performing within 2 years. I can and will do this. Watch me.

Haiku Two

Exceptions exist
Everything casts shadows
All but for the sun

Hunter S. Thompson - Kingdom of Fear

I have just finished reading Hunter S. Thompson's latest and final book "Kingdom of Fear" which according to him " I like this book and I especially like the title. Only a fool or a whore would call it anything else."

Obviously the good doctor was neither.

It is one of his more fun books and seems to ramble on but if you are a fan it is gold. Some of my favourite lines from it are:

"At the top of the mountain we are all snow leopards."

"The work of the Devil is never fully revealed until after midnight."

"Once you get a feeling for handling nitroglycerine fuses, you never lose it."

and he has titles for chapters like:

God might forgive you but I won't
What Marijuana?
Jesus Hated Bald Pussy
Song of the Sausage Creature
Fear and Loathing at the Taco Stand


All in all he was definitely a one off.

R.I.P good Doctor

Bass lesson No 1

Well, finally the people at the music school got back to me about arranging a lesson time and date. So I had my first lesson on Monday arvo with Brad who is pretty cool. He has the point of view that you should learn to read music and do the theory instead of just learning to play tablature and learning hand shapes. What little I have read about what various musos think seems to hold that this is the only way to go if you intend to be better than only average. And no matter how long it takes I don't just want to end up an average player.

So the lesson went well, we had to start with the very basics ie Bass clef, minums etc. He tried my bass and said that he was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the sound for a Chinese made Fender. At the time I was somewhat chuffed but now in hindsight I realise that was something of a backhanded compliment.

But anyway I was feeling good about it when we moved on to examining my knobs (yes I have more than one) on the body of the bass. I was just fiddling with one when it fell off in my hand. Now I don't need to tell you how embarrassing it is to be sitting in a small room, with a man you just met, and you have your knob in your hand.

I told this story to my girlfriend Alicia and she expressed surprise that my Mother had not warned me about these dangers.

Still the lesson went well and I left with the instructions that I was to practice on the bass every day for at least 10 minutes and preferrably 20. I promised that I would. So that night I did 20 minutes and today I did 20 in the morning and 40 this evening. I was pleasantly surprised that I seem to not be totally unco at it. There is hope.

I'll try to do another hour tomorrow.

Haiku

I have been writing a few Haiku lately, partly because I like a well written one and partly to see if I could come close to anything good. Anyway here is one I wrote last night while a walking the dogs.


The night sky is dark
The clouds glow from within
Bashful is the moon

About Bloody Time

Well, finally after merely talking about it for so long, I have bought myself a bass guitar. It is a Fender Squire four string (black and white). I also have a nice little amp to be starting with. It was very exciting picking it up and for Aus$515 it was a bargain. I have been playing with it but hopefully I will soon get a few lessons under my belt and play it.

Many thanks to Tricky Si for helping me out getting it, the VP of logic for support and Bonsai Girl for making it so much fun.

Mexico City's First Album

Folks, one of my favourite Brisvegas bands Mexico City is releasing their first full length release on Monday the 13/2/06. It is titled Black Comedy, is out on Reverbration records (check out their webpage sometime) and had ten awesome tracks. These boys have had two EPs out in the last couple of years which are well worth checking out.

Look out for the gigs that will surely be coming your way in the next few weeks/months. Surrender yourself into their very capable hands and you won't regret it (you may feel dirty but you won't regret it).

Get into them now so that when they get huge (and they will), you like me, can say you were there at the beginning! And scoff at the first person to say "Hey you should check out this new band", because you were there man, when it all came together. Let the smugness begin!

Kiss the Moon

Here is an attempt of mine to write a song. I have only ever knocked out about a dozen and to be truthful most were crap. However, I thought that this one had potential.


Kiss the Moon


Some people fly in the fullness of day
Fly through the sky as they go on their way
Trying to reach the sun
And whatever glories that they can
Society's shining children whose ambitions we all fan

Chorus:
Now I'd settle for less
Than the suns burning caress
I'd kiss
Just kiss
Kiss the moon.

I'm not immune from similar desires
But I'll not compete in the same golden fires
Fighting higher and higher
Into Apollo's deadly fire
But the more public the success the more public the fall

Now I'll settle for less
Than the suns burning caress
I'll kiss
Just kiss
Kiss the moon

Now, I've got a plan
To goals not as grand
I've got some new wings and I've got an old prayer
Still I'm not quite sure just how I'll fare
But under night's ebon screen
I'll achieve my dream

I'll kiss
Just kiss
Kiss the moon

I'll kiss
Just kiss
Kiss the moon

Repeat to fade

Melancholy Ill Suits My Cat

Melancholy ill suits my cat,
There's other things he is better at,
Eating, sleeping and catching mice,
Other things just as nice.

A talented feline,
Hansome too,
There are many things he is prone to do.

Yet enthusiasm he seems to lack,
As here he sighs on his back,
He should be doing this and that;
Melancholy ill suits my cat.

Hey fans of grassroots music !

If you are keen to hear and see some of the music that is being made right now in Brisbane Australia check out :


http://www.bandidoz.com

it is a brand new online radiostation with music and video clips. It has only been going for a few months. My favourite bands are on it !

Ritual

Here is another of my very short pieces of writing. This was written first thing in the morning on a weekend. I typed it out as it came to me in about 20 minutes. I then tinkered with a few lines but mostly it is as I thought of it. It seems that inspiration was very strong and the idea came to me almost complete.

It is very stylised so bear that in mind when you read it.


Ritual

I am walking in a dream…
Down a dirt road in the country I think…
And a pale flame haired woman, at once a stranger and yet familiar, stands waiting at the roads edge, soundlessly beckoning me near. On her shoulder a blindfolded owl sits silently. At her side a bull lies passively, its gaze directed at the far distant sunset and around its horns a garland of blood red flowers twines. At my approach the maid cries silent sorrowful tears and they fall with a metallic ring onto the bare blade held to her bosom.

When I am but mere paces away she acts. Her arm moving rapidly, her anguished face suggesting surrender to a fate as inevitable as it was regrettable. Beside her the bull moves also, raising its head to look directly upwards. It reveals an expanse of roan coloured fine fur now pulled taut over a veritable delta of veins pulsing with its life blood. I lunge forward to halt the act occurring before me, bearing all the signs of a ritual as timeless as the sun’s progress across the heavens. My lunge falters as somehow on this perfectly even, clear ground; I stumble and fall.

The lady’s hand arcs gracelessly downward with all of the strength that her slight frame can bring to bear. The blade passes the neck of the resigned beast without disturbing a solitary hair, only to return on a different path, and bite almost greedily into the unresisting flesh. Passing in a shallow arc the blade calls the beast’s life’s blood to fountain forth, pooling at the maid’s bare feet. Landing on all fours my head slumps forward and I unwittingly receive a scarlet baptism in the warm flow of the bull’s blood just as it utters its first mournful cry. The note of that bellow alters as I stare at the stained ground under me and the warmth spreads down my neck into my shirt. As the cry climbs in pitch it becomes an almost human like keening causing me to glance up and see before me a man lying in place of the bull, in a pool of too much blood, with a garland in his hair. In all of a moment or two his form collapsed before me, decaying at an incredible rate, muscle melting, skin shriveling, bones breaking down until not even ash remains. Then without a moments respite, I feel my limbs turn leaden, my skin grow tight, my bone strain and my sinew scream. The sound of my own heart deepens in my chest, pumping so much more powerfully. And two curling horns sprout from my temples.

Her crying now ceased, I glance up at the maid to see a temperate smile blooming on her pale face. Her knife is once again shining and clean, but from it dangles a garland of blood red flowers that she places with tender care on my fine sharp horns. So she turns facing the same way that I, the beast, now face. In front of us passes a road where there was only a field and I sigh with surrender.

It's been a long time coming but....

Here at long last is my Blog. After talking about it for so long and waiting to be sure that I had something to contribute to the blogging community, here is my blog.

Welcome one and all.

If you find yourself wondering what will appear in these pages in the future that makes two of us.

There will at the very least be some of my ramblings/ideas/opinions and I intend to use it as a means of letting my fledgling writing take flight (or alternatively crash land and wander around dazed wondering if anyone got the number of that bus) and to post anything that I find cool.

Stay tuned...

A story of ofno consequence

Here is a very short piece of writing that I did for a competition as part of the Writer's Festival in Brisbane last year. The point was to write 100 words exactly including the title. This is not easy. The more anal retentive of you will count the number and notice that I fell short by going over by a smidgeon. So I didn't end up entering. Still I am very pleased with it as it is both original and funny.

Let me know what you think.



A story of ofno consequence


My name is ofno consequence.
That’s right, ofno consequence.

My father’s name was Ofno Consequence and his father before him etc etc ....

He says that it is an ancient Norse name meaning “pivotal”.

People think it is ironic since he is the greatest overachiever that the town of Min Min has ever seen, a civic leader who started three international charities, built a free self-funding hospital, inspired a cripple boy to walk, completed his thirtieth triathlon and seventh double marathon, was intrinsic in freeing Nelson Mandela and recently designed a better mouse trap.

It is understood in our family that a Consequence was responsible for the printing press, sliced bread and the Internet but was too humble to take the credit.

It is a pity then, that I am the first Consequence to take after my mother. I have asthma, eczema, facial twitches and a lisp; I am hunch-backed and pigeon-toed with the bits in between none the better.

When I am seventeen I am changing my name to Oflesser, an ancient Norse name meaning “In the shadow of”.