A story of ofno consequence

Here is a very short piece of writing that I did for a competition as part of the Writer's Festival in Brisbane last year. The point was to write 100 words exactly including the title. This is not easy. The more anal retentive of you will count the number and notice that I fell short by going over by a smidgeon. So I didn't end up entering. Still I am very pleased with it as it is both original and funny.

Let me know what you think.



A story of ofno consequence


My name is ofno consequence.
That’s right, ofno consequence.

My father’s name was Ofno Consequence and his father before him etc etc ....

He says that it is an ancient Norse name meaning “pivotal”.

People think it is ironic since he is the greatest overachiever that the town of Min Min has ever seen, a civic leader who started three international charities, built a free self-funding hospital, inspired a cripple boy to walk, completed his thirtieth triathlon and seventh double marathon, was intrinsic in freeing Nelson Mandela and recently designed a better mouse trap.

It is understood in our family that a Consequence was responsible for the printing press, sliced bread and the Internet but was too humble to take the credit.

It is a pity then, that I am the first Consequence to take after my mother. I have asthma, eczema, facial twitches and a lisp; I am hunch-backed and pigeon-toed with the bits in between none the better.

When I am seventeen I am changing my name to Oflesser, an ancient Norse name meaning “In the shadow of”.